Understanding Anxiety: Seven Common Traps and How to Escape Them

By Ryan Filax-Wylie, Pathfinder Therapy — Calgary

Anxiety rarely feels like a “choice.” Yet many of the things we do to feel safer in the moment quietly keep anxiety running in the background. Below are seven common traps I see in therapy, along with evidence-based ways to get unstuck.

This article is educational and not a substitute for therapy. If anxiety is disrupting your life, professional help can make a real difference.

Trap 1: “Safety behaviours” that shrink your world

Safety behaviours are the small things we do to prevent or reduce perceived threats. These include carrying water “just in case,” over-preparing, avoiding eye contact, or keeping a phone gripped during conversations. While they may work in the short term, they block new learning. This keeps your nervous system convinced that danger is near (Salkovskis, 1991; Blakey & Abramowitz, 2016; Craske et al., 2014).

Try this: Pick one low-stakes situation and drop a single safety behaviour. For example, leave the water bottle in the car. Notice what actually happens versus what anxiety predicted.

Trap 2: Reassurance loops

“Am I okay? Are we okay?” Reassurance—whether through Googling, texting a partner, or asking a friend—briefly lowers anxiety. However, it often rebounds and can grow, pulling loved ones into a cycle that maintains symptoms (Kobori & Salkovskis, 2013; Salkovskis & Kobori, 2015; Rector et al., 2019).

Try this: Delay seeking reassurance by 15 minutes while doing something that aligns with your values. This could be taking a walk, emailing a professor, or folding laundry. If you still want reassurance afterward, ask once and then practice tolerating uncertainty.

Trap 3: Worry as a (sneaky) emotion regulator

The contrast-avoidance model explains why worry can feel useful. Staying keyed-up can dull the shock of bad news. Unfortunately, living in perpetual “pre-distress” is exhausting and maintains anxiety (Llera & Newman, 2014).

Try this: Schedule a 15-minute “worry window.” Outside of this window, jot down your worries on your phone and return to them later. You’re training your brain to decide when to engage with anxiety, not the other way around.

Trap 4: Intolerance of uncertainty (IU)

When “not knowing” feels dangerous, life becomes a string of what-ifs. Intolerance of uncertainty is a strong driver of anxiety. Reducing IU can measurably decrease symptoms (Carleton, 2016; Dugas et al., 2010; Dugas et al., 2022).

Try this: Choose one everyday “uncertainty rep.” For example, send an email without rereading it five times or pick the second menu option when dining out. Record your predictions versus the actual outcomes. Small reps can lead to big gains.

Trap 5: Experiential avoidance

Trying to not feel anxious—by pushing it down or thinking positively—ironically binds you to it. Research links experiential avoidance and psychological inflexibility to higher anxiety and poorer outcomes. Increasing flexibility is therapeutic (Akbari et al., 2022; Arch et al., 2022).

Try this: For 60 seconds, breathe deeply and name what you’re feeling: “tight chest, quick thoughts, urge to escape.” Then, take one step in the direction you care about while allowing those feelings to be present.

Trap 6: Perfectionism

High standards aren’t the problem; perfectionistic concerns—like fear of mistakes and harsh self-criticism—correlate with anxiety across diagnoses (Limburg et al., 2017).

Try this: Define what “good enough” looks like before you start a task. Aim to deliver at that standard at least once this week. Notice if the feared consequences actually happen.

Trap 7: Sleep (and caffeine) blind spots

Sleep and anxiety fuel each other. Improving sleep can help mood and emotional regulation (Alvaro et al., 2013; Palmer & Alfano, 2017). Research shows that reductions in sleep quality predict higher next-day anxiety (Ben Simon et al., 2020). Additionally, higher caffeine intake is associated with increased anxiety, and high doses can provoke panic in those with panic disorder (Liu et al., 2024; Klevebrant & Frick, 2022).

Try this: Protect a consistent wake time. Dim screens 60 minutes before bed, and consider a brief caffeine “audit.” Track your caffeine intake and timing for a week, and think about cutting back by 25–50% before noon.

What Actually Helps (Backed by Research)

Inhibitory-learning-based exposure

Instead of “white-knuckling,” exposures are designed to violate fear predictions and build new learning. This approach is especially powerful when you drop safety behaviours (Craske et al., 2014; Blakey & Abramowitz, 2016).

Target IU Directly

Protocols that use behavioural experiments to practice uncertainty show durable reductions in worry (Dugas et al., 2010; Dugas et al., 2022).

Build Psychological Flexibility

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) increases your willingness to feel difficult emotions while moving toward your values. Meta-analytic data suggest ACT is comparable to gold-standard Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and superior to inactive controls (A-Tjak et al., 2015).

If anxiety is steering too much of your life, remember: you’re not broken. You’re simply running protective strategies that may have worked once. Therapy can help you test those strategies in a new way and update your system. Contact us to learn how.

Conclusion

Navigating anxiety can feel overwhelming. However, understanding these common traps is the first step toward reclaiming your life. By implementing these strategies, you can gradually shift your relationship with anxiety. Remember, you are not alone in this journey. There is support available, and taking the first step can lead to meaningful change.

A calm path through a forest, symbolizing moving through anxiety with clarity.

References

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A-Tjak, J. G. L., Davis, M. L., Morina, N., Powers, M. B., Smits, J. A. J., & Emmelkamp, P. M. G. (2015). A meta-analysis of the efficacy of acceptance and commitment therapy for clinically relevant mental and physical health problems. Psychotherapy and Psychosomatics, 84(1), 30–36. https://doi.org/10.1159/000365764

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